Return To Me
by Shai
Summary: Contradicts Star By Star and Traitor on the deaths of Anakin and Ganner.Jacen still gets captured but Anakin is alive along with Ganner.How would that change the future of the Republic?
1. En Route

Disclaimer: All characters mentioned in this story are property of George Lucas. I am making no  
money from this story. I have a sense of honor.  
  
I know I promised to do a sequel but this story has been in the works for a while, so heck I'll put it up first and then I'll get to work on the sequel to "In Your Arms".  
  
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Star By Star, page 429  
Myrkr  
  
"Sooner?" Tahiri voiced. "But healing trances take hours-even days!"  
  
Tekli ignored Tahiri and continued to mend Anakin's wound. "Your spleen was punctured. I closed the hole but it will continue to seep until you enter a trance and heal it yourself."  
  
"How's he going to do that?" Tahiri demanded. "We can't stop, not with the Yuuzhan Vong so close!"  
  
Jacen watched the scene with mixed emotions and he tightened his lips into a straight line to prevent the tremble that would have appeared. His little brother was in no condition to carry on, he could even be dying.  
  
By the Force, he swore that no harm would come to Anakin as long as Jacen was still alive. Knowing his brother, Jacen was sure that Anakin would insist on leading the mission despite his injury. Anakin was both reckless and selfless like their father.  
  
'No. He can't carry on like that. The pain would be too much," he reasoned with himself. Yes, Anakin was the strike team leader and that rendered Jacen's thought irrelevant. Anakin had already shown his defiance towards Jacen back at the beginning of the mission. Still he had to try to make his brother see reason.  
  
"Anakin, you have to go into a healing trance," he finally voiced out to his brother who was struggling to his feet with Tahiri's help.  
  
"And just who is going to lead the mission? You?" Anakin warned and there was no mistaking the contempt in his voice. Contempt directed at Jacen.  
  
Jacen's patience snapped like a twig and despite the urgency of the situation and the explosions of fragmentation grenades coming from Alema, Jacen's voice was audible. "Watch your mouth little brother, you may be the leader of this strike team but don't you forget that I'm you elder brother."  
  
Everyone who heard Jacen's words were taken aback. Jacen usually kept his emotions in check and did not lash out at anyone. This was one of the rare times where he had dropped his calmness.  
  
He lifted his right hand and the Force gathered around it and Anakin immediately knew what Jacen was attempting. Jacen had a renowned ability to push Force-users into a deep healing trance, rivaling that of the most accomplished Jedi healers. Anakin could have resisted his brother's probe but in his weakened state, the lures of a healing trance were irresistible as he finally slumped to the ground into a trance.  
  
Jacen wasted no time with words and he simply pointed to Tahiri and then pointed to Anakin's body. For a moment Tahiri glared at him but she caught Jacen's instruction as she tentatively levitated Anakin with the Force. Jacen then turned to face the rest of the strike team.  
  
"I'm taking over this mission," he stated, giving the strike team a piercing stare. Jaina gulped as she recognized the stare that belonged to her mother's. It was the stare that said 'I won't accept another alternative' that Leia used whenever she was dealing with over-active senators and Han. It was unfair that only Jacen had acquired that stare but then he had always resembled Leia closer than Han.  
  
Jaina was surprised that Ganner was the first to step up and support Jacen's decision with a simple nod. That gesture brought the rest of the strike team onto Jacen's side as they acknowledge the plans laid out by their new leader.  
  
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Star By Star, page 577 Myrkr  
  
Jacen unclipped his lightsaber. "I'll need to concentrate on the voxyn, so we have to do this without the battle meld. May the Force be with you, my friends."  
  
Taking her own lightsaber in hand, Tenel Ka stepped over to kiss him and was cut off by Vergere.  
  
"And with you Jacen Solo." Vergere shooed him down the slope. "Now go before your quarry escapes."  
  
Jacen rolled his eyes and flashed a trademark lopsided Solo grin at Tenel Ka. Although he might not survive this encounter with the voxyn queen, he could take in the knowledge that his siblings were alive, the strike team was well on their way home and that Tenel Ka had wanted to kiss him.  
  
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Star By Star, page 583 Myrkr  
  
"No" Despite the size of Vergere's hand, Jacen was too weak to resist its overwhelming strength. She took his lightsaber out of his hand and then took Anakin's which was resting on his utility belt. Jacen had no idea why he kept Anakin's lightsaber with him but he was beginning to regret it. "You have won your battles. Now you pay."  
  
He remembered the torture that he had face aboard the Exquisite Death and he could feel his fear at such a treatment. At least the Jedi were safe from the threat of the voxyn. Compared to that, his fear meant nothing, his pain meant nothing.  
  
"It will Jacen," Vergere said, surprising him since he had not spoken his thoughts aloud. "That I promise you, it will."  
  
He felt a warm drop strike his face, then another and another. He craned his neck and saw Vergere wiping tears from her cheeks, her face turned so the other Vong warriors would not see.  
  
"Vergere were you-"  
  
"Yes, Jacen." She pressed a finger to his lips. "I was crying for you."  
  
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Dark Journey, page 120  
Hapan Space  
  
White-hot pain speared through Jaina Solo's senses as she ripped off the cognition hood of the Yuuzhan Vong frigate to examine the look of pain she had seen on Ganner's face. She realized that the surge of pain had not come from the ship's nerves but from the other Jedi aboard it. All of them had formed only a singe solitary thought in their heads.  
  
Jacen.  
  
Jaina sat down in sadness and grief when she realized that Jacen had appeared in the Force but she had not been able to feel him. She knew that her own anger and grief prevented her from contacting him ever since she had fallen to the dark side on Myrkr. She had given in to her anger at those who had injured Anakin, at those who had taken Jacen away from her.  
  
Jaina looked from one face to another and her grief edged up another notch when she saw Jacen's death etched on the faces of Lowbacca, Ganner, Zekk and Tekli. Then another searing storm hit her, from a source she barely confirmed as Tenel Ka. Tenel Ka's pain and regret were obvious. Regret that she never had a chance to confess her attraction for Jaina's twin.  
  
"Jaina?"  
  
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A strong surge in the Force jarred Anakin Solo out of his 'Jacen- induced' healing trance. His first reaction was to reach down to his wound and he found that it had healed. Mostly. He remembered how he had tried to fight the charms of a healing trance but his body had betrayed him. He lay sprawled on the floor for a while as he felt anger course through his whole body. Most of it caused by Jacen.  
  
"Anakin?"  
  
A silhouette of a head appeared in his vision but he could make out the name of the person judging from the pitch of the voice. As his vision cleared, he could make out blond hair and green eyes looking down at him. The face etched with concern and had seemed to age in years in just a couple of days.  
  
"Tahiri?"  
  
"Yes," she mumbled and she kneeled down. Anakin felt a warm teardrop on his face and soon many teardrops after. Tahiri was shedding tears because of him. Yet something in her Force presence said it was not all because of him.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"You don't know?" she said. "He died."  
  
Anakin had a sinking feeling in his stomach. "Who died?"  
  
Tahiri's next words came out in a whisper and Anakin felt a burning inside him. "Jacen," she said.  
  
This time anger burned in Anakin Solo like a Wayland forest fire and the fuel came from the death of his brother. Anger at himself for not giving his brother the respect he deserved, anger at the ones who were responsible for the death of his brother and anger at the cruelty of life itself.  
  
He reached out with the Force to find his brother's signature presence. To show everyone that he was not dead, he was still alive. He came across nothing. Again and again he reached with the Force, searching desperately for any sign of reassurance.  
  
All he came out was grief and deep sorrow spewing out from his mother, his uncle and his sister. Jaina. "Come on, we have to get out of here."  
  
"No, you're still too weak and-" She stopped when she was met with his angry gaze and she folded. Standing up, she pulled him up to her height and he nearly dropped down again as his knees gave way. Slowly, step by step, they made their way to the cockpit as Anakin sobbed all the way.  
  
They came into the cockpit and watched as all the other Jedi assembled there. Anakin knew that they too had felt Jacen's death. None of them seemed to notice his presence as they all hung their heads in sadness.  
  
"Jaina," he uttered and for the first time all attention was fixed on him. He reached out and felt his sister's presence, it was cold. His sister looked old, even a few worry lines had appeared on her pretty face. Anakin had no doubt that his sister had fallen to the dark side. The question was when and how.  
  
Jaina looked at him and in three long strides, enveloped Anakin in an embrace, mindful of his wound. Jaina sobbed into his chest, wetting his tunic and his tears fell freely from his eyes. He had never experienced such a loss. A heavy burden had been placed on his shoulders and chest.  
  
"We're very sorry Anakin. It's a sad loss for the Jedi. Jacen was a good brother," Zekk finally said, laying a comforting hand on Anakin's shoulder.  
  
"He was and he will always be," Anakin finally said the words that he had always known to be true. Despite the numerous fights and the harsh words Anakin had said, Jacen had always tried to support him as best as he could. He would really miss his big brother.  
  
"I'm sorry Jacen," he mumbled.  
  
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2 years later  
Somewhere in Hyperspace  
  
A lone Yuuzhan Vong transport that had once belonged to Nom Anor, streaked through the starlines. It's destination-the water world of Mon Calamari. The three occupants in the ship traded stories about the war, the Republic and also about Zonama Sekot though the tallest occupant had withdrawn into himself, contemplating.  
  
One of the occupants, a roguishly handsome Jedi Knight, voiced his concern at the man whom he had gained a tremendous respect for. Ganner Rhysode regarded the man with genuine concern. His hand was resting on the once thought lost lightsaber of Anakin Solo. Ganner had used it to protect the man from Vong warriors while he communicated with the World Brain of Yuuzhan'tar.  
  
The other was a female Fosh and also a Jedi Knight of the Old Republic and had spent a long time in Yuuzhan Vong captivation. She also held vital information for the New Republic, information that could turn the war into the Republic's advantage. Vergere regarded the man with nothing more than a quirk of her head and an unconcerned sigh before falling into meditation, her chest glowing bright orange.  
  
The last occupant was deep in thought, not noticing the looks he had been given by the other two occupants. The only thought in his mind was about being reunited with his family after two long years. Two long years where he had been pronounced dead by everyone in the Republic except his own mother. Jacen Solo had been through much in his nineteen years of life. He had killed more Vong warriors than he could count, he had been stabbed in the chest, he had killed the voxyn queen but he did not know if he would have the emotional strength when he met with his family and friends again.  
  
His parents, his uncle, aunt and their son. His friends, Jedi or otherwise and his siblings. He longed to reopen himself to his twin bond and let the familiar presence of his sister mesh around with his own. He also longed to see the brother that he had saved back on Myrkr.  
  
Vergere had fooled him by projecting the illumination on his brother back on Yuuzhan'tar but now he would see him. In flesh and blood.  
  
"Are you okay or have you been taking too much of the sacweed broth until it's jamming your brain waves?" Ganner asked as Jacen finally noticed him for the first time. Ganner chuckled at the joke and silenced himself when Jacen stared at him in deadly fashion. "We're going back."  
  
"Home," Jacen muttered and then Vergere snorted.  
  
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To be continued  
  
Like it? Hate it? Give me your opinions. They matter to me. 


	2. Voice

Disclaimer: All characters mentioned in this story are property of George Lucas. I am making no  
money from this story. I have a sense of honor.  
  
Explores the impact of Jacen's "death" on certain people in his life.  
  
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His opponent held her weapon in a high stance guard with a predatory smile etched on her face. Anakin Solo held his own lightsaber in an attack stance as he gave small, respectful nod at his opponent. They both charged forward at the same time, their lightsabers crashing together, blue against red.  
  
His opponent was definitely more skilled as her attacks became more subtle but no less violent as she thrust her lightsaber forward. Anakin was hard pressed into defensive mode as the attacks came at a faster rate.  
  
"Focus Anakin," a voice came out from nowhere, momentarily freezing his body up. His opponent took advantage of his lapse and his lightsaber was sent flying out of his hand, its red blade still humming.  
  
"I would have thought you've gotten better but you still have a long way to go Anakin," his aunt finally said, deactivating the blue blade of her lightsaber. Anakin did not hear her comment, his mind was still on the voice that had called out to him from nowhere.  
  
"Something the matter?" Mara said, taking hold of Anakin's shoulders and shaking him like a rag doll. Anakin might have been taller than his aunt but Mara was definitely stronger than him. "Snap out of it Solo!"  
  
"I heard him," he mumbled.  
  
"Heard who?"  
  
Anakin stared at his aunt with his blue eyes, a faraway and sad look in them. "Jacen." The voice definitely belonged to his brother. That mixture of adolescence and adulthood had sounded so warm and comforting. He missed his brother's laughter and his jokes, missed the banter between them. Anakin sniffed trying to prevent the water in his eyes from falling out.  
  
At the time, Mara felt a twinge of pain in her. She had felt Jacen's life force wink out while she was aboard the Millennium Falcon, she had comforted Luke when he had cried his tears for Jacen. She had nearly ridiculed her sister in law when she had said that Jacen was still alive. She had thought of Jacen as someone who would end up like Yoda, being a hermit in some barren and desolate world, free to think about himself and his moral dilemmas. Then when she had found out about his actions at Myrkr, Mara had to rethink her opinions of Jacen Solo. His selfless sacrifice, his caring and his decisiveness, the one thing she thought that Jacen would never have.  
  
"I miss him," Anakin mumbled again. Mara reached out and pulled her nephew in for a hug as her eyes stung with unshed tears over her other deceased nephew.  
  
"You would never know how much a person meant and how much you would miss him to you until he left," Luke had once said to her. Her husband was right.  
  
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Jaina sat down in quiet contemplation as Anakin described to her the voice he had heard in his spar with Mara. Jaina was only feeling one emotion and only one. She was jealous. She was jealous that Jacen had once again appeared in the Force not her but to her little brother. She knew it was her fall to the dark side that had made that possible and even know that she had been pulled back to the light by Kyp Durron of all people, she still could not see him.  
  
Why?  
  
She closed her eyes and allowed her jealousy to seep out of her body, replacing it with longing. She wanted to be angry with someone, blame something for her inability to hear her twin's voice one more time. She sank into her bed and cradled her head in her hands. Her quarters on the Republic base of Mon Calamari were sparsely furnished. She had been given one of the biggest quarters that was overlooking the Mon Calamari ocean due to her rank and heritage.  
  
Even so, there was only a bed, her closet, dressing table and a study table. Anakin sat on her bed next to her, staring out of the window. Jaina stood and walked over to her dressing table. Her dressing table held only three holos among all the other facial and beauty products that did nothing to ease her worry lines.  
  
She picked up the first one. It was a picture of her with her two brothers during a vacation at Wayland when she and Jacen had been eight and Anakin six. Anakin was wedged in the middle of the twins, their arms around Anakin's neck on either side. Jacen was ruffling with Anakin's hair with his free hand while Jaina looked on with exasperation. They had been so young then, oblivious to the terrors and dangers of the galaxy. They lived in their own little world, carefree and playful.  
  
The next holo was taken about three years after the first one, back when all the three Solo siblings were at the Jedi Academy on Yavin. Jacen and Anakin were having in a lightsaber duel with their uncle standing at one side, a look of pride on his face. The picture captured perfectly the beginnings of a sibling rivalry between the two brothers as Jacen had a mocking smile on his face with Anakin ready to stare vibroblades at him. That had marked the beginnings of a rift developing between the two brothers.  
  
The third holo was just a picture of her twin. He was standing aloof in his Jedi tunics with a goofy grin plastered to his face. For that one moment frozen in time, he was just Jacen, her brother. Not the Jedi or the offspring of two of the greatest heroes of times. Just Jacen. She reached out to finger the holo and the picture distorted a bit due to the invading finger. Try as she might, she could never bring her twin back.  
  
"I'll be back." The voice came out from nowhere. It sounded exactly like Jacen's.  
  
She stood frozen as the holo of Jacen clattered to the floor and she looked down to the holo, expecting the picture to have winked out. The picture was still there, resilient like as if it was not going to wink out just like that. She picked it up and froze again as she could have sworn the picture of Jacen winked at her.  
  
She smiled and replaced it back on her dressing table.  
  
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"I have the feeling that something is about to happen," Luke said, sprawled out on the bed as Mara snuggled in closer to his chest. Her right hand resting on his chest.  
  
"I hate it when you say that Skywalker, now go to sleep," she murmured. Luke allowed himself a small smile as he fondly stroked his wife's red-gold hair. He tried to lull himself to sleep in the comforting presence of his wife but this feeling of his prevented him from doing so.  
  
"Alright Luke, out with it," his wife said, her eyes still closed but she had a smile on.  
  
"It's just a feeling."  
  
"Uh huh. Good or bad?"  
  
"A bit of both though the good feeling outweighs the bad one," he said. Mara rolled on top of him and she looked straight into his eyes. Luke's hands tightened reflexively around her waist and she lowered her head to kiss him.  
  
"You know Luke, I really hate it when you say stuff like that," she said.  
  
"I feel as if something will happen until it changes everyone's destiny. The Force wills it."  
  
"Earlier, Anakin heard Jacen's voice when we were sparring in the gym. Coincidence?" Mara's voice held genuine concern.  
  
"Maybe." Luke trailed off as sleep started to catch up with him. Mara shook her head and fell asleep on her husband's chest.  
  
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It was nighttime but she did not care. She had work to do and she would not stop until she found out how to jam the Vong dovin basals. She had never been a quitter and she would not start now. Many had said she was a workaholic and that was why she could never find the right man but her mother had once told her that men were a waste of time and money. She had no such yearning for anything romantic since that day.  
  
It was hot-wired into Danni Quee's blood and brain.  
  
The dovin basal gave a small squeak before it went totally limp. Disgusted, Danni threw the thing into a garbage chute. That was the fourteenth basal that had died. Everytime she had tried to crack the mystery of the basal's warping black holes, they had either died or been totally unresponsive.  
  
Danni had no idea what could have provoked such a reaction. The lab on the Republic base was more than sterile and there were no hostile surroundings. Danni herself wore gloves that prevented any germs from coming into contact with the basal specimens. She was tired and frustrated. She brought her hand down on the counter, releasing all her anger and frustration.  
  
"Anger iz of the dark side Danni Quee. This one thinkz that you must learn Master Skywalker's maxims some more," a Barabel voice came out from nowhere, followed by a long line of hissing which passed for Barabel laughter.  
  
Barabels had the worst sense of humor. Especially Jedi Barabels, who go by the name of Saba Sebatyne.  
  
"What time is it?" Danni asked, yawning like a rancor and not bothering to cover up. That brought forth another hissing fit from Saba.  
  
"This one thinkz you should rest now, be it night or day," she said after subsiding from her laughter.  
  
Danni mumbled her thanks and left the lab, heading off for her quarters. She had grown to like Saba ever since they met the first time at Eclipse. Then, she and Saba had been allies in a war but now they were more like friends. Saba even had volunteered to teach Danni in the ways of the Force, much to the approval of Master Skywalker himself. Danni had learned much from Saba and she knew that she was lucky to have the opportunity to be a Jedi. Had Jacen Solo not rescued her from Helska 4, she would have never discovered her talent.  
  
She reached her quarters, keyed in her access code and fell silent on her bed without even removing her sweat-filled clothes.  
  
Ironic.  
  
That was the only word that she could use to describe her life so far. It was ironic that the very person who had given her the chance to be a Jedi, had not been given a chance himself. Jacen Solo was dead and he would not be coming back. Nobody knew what a broken person she had been when she felt Jacen's life being extinguished in one single moment, the hours she had spent crying and sobbing.  
  
She knew then that she loved Jacen Solo, not as in the love of lovers but the kind of love that an elder sister gave to a younger brother. She had always felt a bond with him ever since the day that they had first met. She laughed lightly when she remembered the day she had set Jacen's teenage infatuation on her to rest, he had been so young then. He would never know the joys of old age.  
  
With one last chuckle, she fell asleep on her bed.  
  
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Tenel Ka never felt worse in her life twenty years of life. Now, she was the Queen Mother of sixty-three planets, engaged to a Hapan noble and she was still a Jedi. Her mother was deceased and she had no doubt that her grandmother was the mastermind behind Tenneniel Djo's death. The most heartbreaking news was the death of the man she loved most.  
  
Jacen Solo.  
  
She had felt him die, she had screeched and banged against the walls when the anguish of his death slammed into her. She still had a small scar on her cheek, where she had scratched herself. She never even had the chance to kiss him, to feel his lips against hers. She knew that Jacen Solo only regarded her as a good friend and she would have been satisfied to love him from afar.  
  
The holocomn in her room began to beep, signaling an incoming transmission. She was met with the smiling face of her fiancé, Sath Ke'tin. She had grown to like this man. He was caring, compassionate and he also understood that his engagement to Tenel Ka was to carry on the long line of Hapan nobility. He never pressured Tenel Ka into anything she did not want to do. Just another one of the qualities she liked about the man.  
  
"Queen Mother," he said, respectfully bowing. Yet another quality she liked, he was always unassuming and humble despite his status.  
  
"Is something the matter?" she asked. They were to be wed two months from now and to be honest with herself, she looked forward to the day.  
  
"Would you like to have dinner at my place tonight Queen Mother?" he asked.  
  
She smiled back as his voice left a warm feeling over her. It was time to move forward. "Sure, I'd love to."  
  
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Han Solo had not had a night of blissful sleep for most of the past two years. Each night he would toss and turn in his bed, dreaming of two of the war's two personal casualties.  
  
His best friend, Chewbacca and his eldest son, Jacen.  
  
Everytime he looked at Anakin, he would be reminded of Chewie and Jacen's sacrifice. Sometimes, it even hurt him deeply to look at his youngest son. Everytime, the faces would popped up, Chewbacca's goofy grin beneath all the Wookiee fur and Jacen's aloof lopsided grin. While he had gotten over the death of his best friend, Han Solo would probably never get over the death of his son.  
  
He had never insulted Chewbacca out of spite and most of their arguing had just been the usual, playful banter that culminated from their bond as best friends. Yet, he had insulted Jacen and treated him indifferently, just because he did not resemble Han in the least. His own son and he had insulted and ridden him like he was an outsider.  
  
What kind of a father was he?  
  
"A good one." The drink in Han Solo's hand dropped to the ground, spilling its red liquid all over the floor and he was left staring in shock at the wall of the Millennium Falcon's dining area.  
  
"Jacen?" he asked into the air of the dining area. No reply. Han was not Force-sensitive and it did not make sense how he could hear his son's voice. His son was dead and every other Force-sensitive in the galaxy except Leia knew that Jacen would not be coming back.  
  
Even with the odds of Jacen being alive were a million to one, Han Solo would not even bet on it. 'A Corellian never cares about the odds," he had once said. He used to believe it too until Chewie and Jacen's untimely deaths. Had the voice he heard been a figment of his imagination?  
  
"Don't go son," he said and he was left with the eerie silence aboard the Falcon.  
  
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Author Notes: Well I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit "beat around the bush". I just wanted to write down the reactions of people in Jacen Solo's life to his death. Also many thanks to the first seven reviewers. It's nice to write stories but it's even nicer when we're appreciated for writing them in the first place. :) Also I need help with something- What is Ben Skywalker's eye color? In Rebirth, it was gray and then in Force Heretic I, it was steel blue. Please help me out cos I think im gonna need the info  
  
Acknowledgements:  
  
Kyia-Kenobi: I really hope you like the other chapters that I put up after this. And I'll keep going but I might not update soon cos' school is going to reopen for me and added to the new recordings my band has, it might take a while to update.  
  
Princess-Kinky: Well, it was Lucas' idea to kill off young Anakin Solo but it did bring a degree of realism to the series but I'll do my best to writing and updating this fic as fast as I can.  
  
Robin: I hope you keep on reading :)  
  
PhAtMoN: Well thanks for the praises but you going to have wait quite a bit for me to update this fic.  
  
Kaz: Ah thanks for reviewing my story again......as usual :P I'll try to do some A/T fluff but it would be great if you drop me some suggestions. All in all, I still have to read the chapter 7 of Scarlet Shadows. When are you going to put it up?  
  
High Priestess: Well I hope you continue reading despite Ganner being alive :P  
  
Anakin: I hope you like it :P  
  
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